Glimpse
by sififantasygirl
Summary: Some of Kelly's thoughts as an aunt through all that. Set near the end; based off the movie. Mostly Jesse-centric, but it has all of the characters as well. Rated T for some swearing.


Title: Glimpse

Rating: T for some swearing

Summary: Some of Kelly's thoughts as an aunt through all this crap. Set near the end; based off the movie. Mostly Jesse-centric, but it has all of the characters as well. R&R.

A/N: So, this was a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone, and I am finally uploading it. Enjoy.

* * *

Yes; it was Jesse Fitzgerald that was lying in my lap. Yes; I had seen him around the house. I had helped him with homework, talked to him, joked with him, and even hugged him once in a while. But was _that_ the Jesse Fitzgerald that was lying in my lap now?

No.

I knew what had happened in the courtroom. As soon as I reached the hospital Brian pulled me aside and he told me everything; from what happened to Campbell to all the doctors giving their statements, and finally to the outbreak of truth from, guess who, Jesse.

It was almost too much to take in at once; and I couldn't even imagine how the rest of the family was handling it. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of; I tried to comfort Jesse.

Why?

Because no one else was even looking at him.

"How are you doing?" I had asked as I sat down next to him on the couch.

He had looked at me, not saying anything. His eyes were bloodshot, which meant that he had either had really bad allergies or he had been crying. From how today had gone, I was willing to bet good money on the latter.

"Ok, stupid question, I admit." I continued, smiling a little sadly before becoming serious again. "Will you be ok?"

"I dunno," he paused, looking down to study the carpet like it held the secret to life. "Maybe, eventually, once this is all over. I'm just so goddamn tired right now, you know?"

I had nodded. What else could I have done? Told him that everything would be ok? I don't think so. He's been fed enough shit for one day, I think, even enough shit for one lifetime. Carefully, I reached out and gently pulled his head down, briefly stopping to kiss the top of his hair. Most boys would have leaned away or resisted, but instead he seemed to lean into it.

"You wanna lie down?" I asked, leaning forwards a little. "I know there's no pillows but last time I checked my lap wasn't too bad for resting on."

He paused, and then nodded, sliding himself down enough so that he could lie down with his head in my lap and also with enough room for him to stretch out his legs a little. Like earlier, he didn't resist as I stroked his hair, but leaned into it instead.

We stayed like that for ages. I didn't want to move, and he obviously didn't want me to go, so that was that. It almost reminded me of our old dog Buddy while growing up. _Almost_. Buddy had been exciting at first, being a new dog, an exciting toy, but as the years went by he grew more and more neglected, and anybody who choose to spend a second petting him would have to put up with him following them around for the whole day.

So Jesse was forgotten. That was _his_ role in the family. Stand aside for your sisters; you love your sisters, don't you? You understand, right?

I was angry at my sister. _Not_ because she is a bad person, but because she is a _good_ person, and she let this shit happen. Of all the times I've helped her around the house, I can't remember even _once _where she said more than **five words** to Jesse. He _took_ it though, he took it like the man he was supposed to be; the man everyone _wanted_ him to be.

But he's not a man, he's just a boy, and I know that now. We all know that now. Jesse had a breaking point, and he reached it. Hell, he had reached _past_ it, and no one even knew, or cared enough to notice.

God_damnit_ Jesse, why didn't you say anything?

Well, I guess I know why. Doesn't really take a genius to figure it out. It's because that's not who he is. He doesn't _go_ on self-destruct mode when he's angry or sad; he goes on shutdown mode, and somehow in the Fitzgerald family; that is ten times worse than self-destruct.

Jesse's changed, he's _different_, and I don't know what has changed, or when it changed, or how the hell no one even noticed, only that he'll never be the same. Nobody goes through that kind of shit in their lives and comes out the same as when they went in. Nobody.

Hairs prickled on the back on my neck, and I glanced up just in time to see Sara looking away from me back towards the two doctors she was talking to. I don't even want to know what the _hell_ she was thinking.

Was she jealous? I hope so. This wasn't, _isn't_ my job to comfort Jesse; it's _hers_. Damn it Sara, when did you stop caring about your own son? This is one hell of a dysfunctional family and I hope you know it.

She could have been sad, too, or maybe she's too in shock to be thinking anything. My Sara(because damnit she's still my sister and I still love her, even after all this shit) hasn't said a word since she arrived from the courthouse, which is not like her at all. After she was told the truth about Kate, well, we had all half-expected her to run around with a machine gun and shoot everything that breathes.

I turned slightly to see _Anna_ watching me, but unlike her mother, she didn't glance away when I met her gaze. Instead she looked hard at Jesse, and then at me questioningly. I guess that she wanted to know if he was going to be ok, but even I didn't know that. I shrugged back, and she looked away, frowning, lost in her own thoughts, and I didn't try to read her as well. Poor girl. She's been through so much too, and the worst is still to come.

I could see our family coming, and I ignored them as they arrived. They knew they were coming at a bad time, and any _other_ time we would talk to them, even if they drove us crazy, but not today. Just, not today.

Frowning, I looked down at Jesse to make sure he was still breathing. He had been laying so still that I wouldn't have been able to tell, but he was ok, aside from, well, everything that was going on. I continued to stroke his hair, looking instead to where Kate was talking with the Judge. In stark contrast to what was going on in the waiting room, they were laughing about something.

What had this family _come_ to, that on the **inside** of the hospital room would be a better place than the outside. I looked around, noticing the faces of the family that would miss her the most, and tried to single out the people one by one.

Brian was first. I think he would be ok, in fact the _best_, probably, out of the four. As a man and as a father, he would naturally focus more on how the other members of his family were holding up and put his _own_ problems aside for later.

A little part of Anna would break off and be buried with her sister. Anna is a strong girl though, a _hell_ of a strong girl, and if anyone could pull through this the she could, mark my words. That didn't mean that she wouldn't be broken a little bit inside, just that there was hope for her.

And then there was Sara. Oh, my Sara, what do I do with you, and what the hell would I do without you; I honestly do not know. Sara's a bitch, but she's a strong bitch, and she'll be ok, with time.

As soon as the judge left the room, it was like a spell had been lifted. Everyone stood up slowly, some people stretching their muscles a bit, and others went straight to Kate's room.

Jesse hesitated, then pushed himself off of me, standing up a bit awkwardly. I saw him steel himself before he moved to join the family inside, and to Kate's side. As I found a seat in the hospital room, I realized something that was kind of obvious.

Jesse would be ok. Not saying that he wouldn't go through some bad days and some sleepless nights, but there would come a point when he could bear it. Bear the pain. And then some lovely, caring girl wold come along that would see Jesse as _Jesse_ and not his family, and that would be that.

For his sake I hoped that day would be soon, because I didn't know if I could watch him break again.


End file.
